[Chuck] 'Marsha, a lot of people ask me that.'
A lot of people say, "Chuck, how can I be like you?"
Well, first thing you gotta do, you gotta read the book.
You know what I mean?
You gotta read the book,
you gotta listen to the CDs,
you gotta watch the web, you gotta find out who I am.
You want to be like me? You gotta think like me.
You gotta act like me. You gotta breathe like me.
That's what I always say.
And for me, you know the real secret?
It's be yourself. Be me, then be yourself.
Cos ultimately, I'm Chuck Knoah, only I can be Chuck Knoah.
You can be like me, you can't be me.
But you can be like me.
[Woman screams]
[Seagulls squawking]
[Chuck] 'Visualize the future you want.
'Visualize you becoming that person.
'Living through them.
'Taking a step in the body of the new you.
'This is who you can be.
'Believe in the power of you.
'The newer, stronger, fitter, wealthier,
'more successful you...'
Watch where you're fucking going.
Sorry.
[Radio] '...the couple were found on the beach
'early this morning in the High Cliffs area...'
Idiot.
Well. I suppose I'll have to get dinner myself, then.
No, no, I'll get it. You stay there.
[Radio] '...injuries are consistent with a high fall,
'and are not treating the incident as suspicious.'
Thank you Lord for what we are about to eat,
and for what we enjoy.
- How was the shop today? - Fine.
Betty Smith's mother says she's a lawyer now.
- Good for Betty Smith. - Yes, and her mother too.
[Buzzing]
[Fly buzzing]
[Chuck] 'Believe in the power of you.'
I believe in the power of me.
[Sparse clapping]
Look at me.
Once upon a time, guys, I was like you.
Lost, empty...
...pathetic.
But using the "Barry Withnott Pathway To Success",
look at where I am today.
Are you looking for happiness? I know you are.
Are you looking for power? Are you looking for success?
Then I can help you
with the "Barry Withnott Pathway To Success".
I've got even better news for you,
for today for one day only,
I'm offering every one of you in this room
12.5% off any Barry Withnott DVD, CD, book or e-book...
[Withnott's voice fades away]
...the only destination is a better you!
[Weak applause]
Thank you.
[Woman] I wouldn't follow him down any pathway.
He looks like a greased-up pedo.
Oh... I dunno. He looks alright to me.
That's because you're like everybody else.
Er... I don't think you can smoke in here.
Does it make you embarrassed, hearing the truth?
[Withnott] 'This is who you can be.'
[Woman] Excuse me.
Look at all these retards.
[Woman] Excuse me.
Here, take this. You're going to need it.
- [Woman] Excuse me? - What?
You can't smoke in here.
I'm leaving anyway.
Come see me, if you want to change your life.
Unlike all these... bags of air.
I'm so sorry.
I think you should leave.
[Mother] Lower.
Harder.
Harder!
Lower.
[Chuck] 'Visualize the future you want.
'Visualize it all.
'Visualize you becoming that person.
'Living through them.
'Taking a step in the body of the new you.
'This is who you can be.
'Step One.
'When you give yourself over to possibility,
'anything can and will happen.'
- Yes? - Er...
- Oh, it's you. - Yep. Yes.
Wait here one second. I'm just in the middle of something.
[Clattering inside]
[Object being dragged]
So you want to come in for a little chat or what?
Sit down, then.
- Ignore the mess. - Erm... OK.
I've been so busy with research for my new program,
I've barely had time for anything else.
Wow!
I suppose you're wondering what my program's about?
Oh, yeah, yes, sure.
It's sort of a secret, really.
Oh, of course.
This is my last trip before it launches.
Wow.
I wanna share a secret with you, Lou.
I have an ambition.
Oh, erm... thanks.
I have an ambition to be the greatest life coach
in the world.
I want to help people everywhere.
To have books on every continent,
so that babies in Sudan can read my tips on life
and grow up to unlock their true potential.
That's all I really want for them, to be their potential.
Well, that sounds a really important ambition.
Yeah, I think so.
Do you have ambitions, Lou?
Yeah, yeah.
Like?
Like... I want to go kite-surfing in the Caribbean.
And?
And.... I'd like to have lots of money,
so that I can help people.
Like maybe babies in the Swiss-dan, like you said.
And have my own range of books, like you, too.
Yeah, I'd just like to be like you, really.
- Good ambitions. - Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah...
Yeah.
Thanks for dropping by.
I don't suppose you know anyone
who might be interested in coming with me on my trip?
Someone who could really blossom with the right coaching?
Someone with big dreams,
but no one else around who understands those dreams,
or something similar?
Erm...
Well, I'm leaving in the morning,
so let me know if you think of anyone.
- Mum? - Yes, dear?
What would you think about me going away for a few days?
To explore myself?
What does that mean?
I don't know, just to release the inner me,
connect to my potential.
It... it's a bad idea, it doesn't matter.
Is this house not good enough for you anymore?
It really is. It doesn't matter.
Is this food not good enough for you anymore?
Mum, it is.
It's all this self-help nonsense, isn't it?
Filling your mind. Turning you against me.
Look what you make your own mother do to survive!
To beg? Is that what you want?
Do you want me to beg you to stay, Lou?
Is that what you want to make your mother do?
[Sobbing]
[Phone ringing]
'You're through to Val Stone, if you want to change your life,
'leave a message after the tone.'
[Beep]
Bye, Mum.
- Hello, Louise! - Alright?
Just taking little Monty for a walk before we leave.
We're off on a bit of a holiday for the week.
Blow off the cobwebs of coming back here, you know?
- Right. - Well...
Best of luck with your self-improvement and everything.
Bye. Come on.
Mum?
[Phone ringing]
'You're through to Val Stone, if you want to change your life,
'leave a message after the tone.'
[Beep]
[Car horn]
- Let's do this. - Get in.
Let the voyage of self-discovery begin.
[Chuck] 'Step Two.
'Believe in the power of you
'as I believe in the power of me.'
- Can you read a map? - Er...
We've got a busy few days.
I've lined up some amazing therapies.
Before we culminate there.
Where's that?
Chuck Knoah's country house.
Huh?
We're going to see Chuck. Personally.
Er... really?
Really.
Wow!
Good.
This is the best decision you've ever made.
I know.
I was talking to myself.
Have you got any cash?
[Muffled shouts and clattering]
All paid for.
Oh, OK. But...
Are you OK?
Yeah, of course, why?
Oh, it's just...
you've got a.... bit of...
Oh! Yes, must've caught a nail.
Next stop: inner serenity.
[Radio] 'The body of a missing woman was found
'near a caravan park late yesterday,
'in what police are describing as suspicious circumstances.
'She is thought to have been self-help advocate...'
[Switches off]
[Val] Here we are.
[Inhales deeply]
Breathe in the fresh air.
[Inhales]
I feel better already.
[Muffled voices]
Ah, and here's two more.
Er... you must be...
- Val. - Right. And this is?
Lou. She's an add-on.
Er... shouldn't really just turn up with add-ons
without booking first, but you're here now, never mind.
We'll settle up later.
Here's Graham now too. Fantastic! Let's get started.
Welcome to nature therapy.
I'm Ben, your group leader.
If we could do a quick introduction round the circle?
I'm Graham.
- This is Izzy. - And this is Ralph.
[Ben] And this is Lou and Val, as we've just heard.
Let's give them a "first time to nature therapy" welcome!
- [All] Welcome! - [Ben laughs]
Now, I recognize some of you from before,
but for the newbies,
this area here will be our home for tonight,
whilst we reconnect with Pachamama.
So, without further ado,
grab a tent, let's get cracking and...
[All] Get in touch with nature!
Hmm... We're a bit short on mallets.
The best thing to do in nature is improvise.
Use what's around us as tools.
Like our ancestors did all those years ago.
Like this?
Ow! Fuck!
Ow! Jesus!
My finger... Jesus!
Graham?
Breathe deep, breathe deep.
- Hi! - Hi...
So your new to 'In Touch With Nature With Ben'?
- Yeah, it's my first time. - Oh. He really is a genius.
I love your hair.
Oh, thanks! I love your... just... you!
Well, thanks.
Thanks!
Oh...
Oh! Thank you.
OK.
- OK, bye. - Bye.
- Thank you. - OK, thanks!
Now that our homes are ready, let's take a moment of peace,
before we begin our true journey into nature.
[Humming]
[Ben] Ah, Graham what I have in store for you...
[Humming continues]
[Ben] Out here in the natural world,
we do not collect our meals in plastic containers
from florescent-lit buildings we call shops!
- We must catch what we eat... - She seems nice.
[Ben] ...and eat what we catch.
Yep. Very.
[Ben] Delicious!
[Whispers] What are they doing?
- It's called a nature shower. - Oh...
We take in every pulse of life from the earth from these trees.
From all living things.
Experience each beat, every vibration,
and connect to a serenity within.
Try it.
Close your eyes.
And connect to inner peace.
Nature has given.
We give thanks for what we are about to eat.
Now... we are one with nature.
[Howls]
[All howl]
Dandelion wine from Graham's organic home brewery.
Enjoy!
So, er... what brings you both to nature therapy?
Well, I'm with Val.
We're on a journey of self-discovery.
- And, well, she's sort of my... - I'm her life coach.
Are you? Wow! I would love a life coach.
So you said that you'd not done forest bathing before with Ben?
I've done something similar before,
but it's good to reconnect with nature.
This is our fourth time here, and we love it, don't we?
Oh, yeah, we just love it.
We find it such a wonderful way
to reconnect with our true selves, you know?
Our true ancestral selves.
Yes, right back inside yourself.
Nature is...
- It's everything. - Everything!
So, what do you both do?
- Well, Ralph is in IT. - Izzy's in HR.
Sorry to interrupt there, Ralph. My ears are burning.
We were just saying what a genius you are.
Well... what can I say?
I just... work with what I've got.
Anyway, we've got a lovely treat this evening,
well, Graham does. A little surprise for us.
[♪ Sings in Welsh]
[Ben] Thank you.
Thank you.
[Sobs] Thank you.
[Ralph] That was lovely.
Come on!
Time to get moving. Lots more to fit in.
It's a shame I can't get a chance to say goodbye.
It's just... how it is.
Get in.
- Izzy gave me her number. - That's nice.
I've never made a friend like that before.
Thanks, Val.
I feel wonderful.
Me too, Lou.
Me too.
[♪ Echoes of Graham singing in Welsh]
Step three. Life is like a box of chocolates.
'All the crappy ones get left behind.'
Hi, Mum, it's Lou.
I just wanted you to know I'm having a great time,
everyone's really friendly and nice.
And I'm really enjoying not having to cook.
Anyway... I hope you're good.
Er... lots of love.
Oh, it's Louise, by the way.
- OK? - Yeah.
I've just never been away from home before.
- Do you think she's alright? - Yeah. Course she is.
Come on, let's get going.
We've got a fair few miles to go.
[Lou] I've been thinking...
Maybe we should take a detour back home,
just to check Mum's alright?
Val?
[Turns off engine]
- Ow! - Does that make you angry?
No... no.
Ow!
- Ow! What are you doing? - Do you believe in you?
Yeah. Ow!
I don't believe you. Say it again.
- Yes. Ow! - Again.
- Yes! - Again.
Yes! Yes!
Yes!
Good.
Do you trust me?
Yes.
Good.
And honestly, I'm sure your Mum is absolutely fine.
Now wait here. I just need to get rid of something.
[Car boot opens]
[Thud; car boot closes]
All done.
[Fly buzzes]
- [Lou] What's this place do? - [Val] Sound therapy.
Apparently, it's a very calming and centering experience.
[Man] So, this is your room.
I hope it's to your satisfaction.
- Yeah, great, thanks. - Good. Good.
Your sound journey will begin at 4:00.
Until then, just relax and unwind.
And if you do need anything, please don't hesitate to call.
OK? Great.
Namaste. Namaste.
Great.
He seemed nice.
Everything around us is made of structured vibrations.
Including the human form.
Now these sounds will resonate
with those vibrations within the body,
unlocking unlimited possibilities.
[Long, low note resonates]
These high frequencies stimulate the brain and the body.
Now let go of your stagnant energy.
[♪ High-pitched singing]
And all together.
[♪ All sing high-pitched note]
- [Man] Some more wine, Lou? - I'm OK, I've had enough.
So, Val was saying you're planning
on some pretty big boundary-breaking
on this little pilgrimage of self-discovery?
- Sounds enlightening. - Yeah, yes, it is. Very.
[Man] You've got a good friend there, Lou.
Not many people would put so much effort
into planning a trip for a pal.
I hope you know how lucky you are?
Oh, I do. I really do.
And Val, tell me what did you think of the interconnectivity
of the sound-scaping earlier?
Wonderful. Wasn't it, Lou?
Absolutely.
I could feel an inter-sound connection.
I felt your sonic pathways really opening up.
- Really? - [Both] Mmm.
Oh, please, don't worry,
we've simply put a herbal relaxer in the wine.
We find it really loosens things up ready for stage 2.
- Stage 2? - Yeah...
It's a much deeper vibrating experience.
[Sounds echo and distort]
Using the energy of sound,
to unlock the magnetic orgasmic pulse.
[Groaning]
Let your mind go free.
And join us.
'Open yourselves like a flower
'to the realm of sensual, sonic possibilities.'
Let the journey of discovery begin!
[Echoing grunts]
[Grunting and moaning]
[Wind chimes tinkling]
Sleep well?
- Yeah. - How do you feel?
Good. Yeah.
Really kind of... yeah... connected.
Good morning. Sleep well?
Great, great, great.
Erm, would you like tuna or egg sandwiches
to take away with you for later?
[Laughs] It's alright, I'll put you down for one of each.
Shh... Don't tell anyone.
We should get going.
Hmm. Yep.
I'll settle up.
[♪ Classical music on radio]
Thanks so much for your hospitality.
- We're going to make a move. - Don't forget your lunch.
Good luck with the rest of your trip.
I hope you're feeling enlivened.
Absolutely. Where's Marcus?
He popped out front. He wants to show you his pride and joy.
Lovely.
[Radio] '...red car driven by a dark-haired woman
'with the registration starting T48.
'The driver's wanted in connection
- 'with a string of murders...' - [Switches off radio]
I'm really sorry, Rachel.
We had such a lovely time.
Look, if they, er...
[Grunts]
Don't worry, Marcus, it won't take a second.
All ready to go! I got your stuff too. So we can...
Did you get my shampoo? I left it on the side.
Yep. Yes.
[Marcus mumbles] Help.
We'll talk more about this later.
[Marcus] Help! Help!
[Marcus groans]
Help!
[Groaning]
[Marcus] Call the police!
Please call the p...
[Marcus groans]
Sorry.
I couldn't have done it better myself.
[Marcus still groaning]
Let's not forget those sandwiches.
Those are the egg. Those are the tuna.
Step 4.
An end is only a new beginning.
[Radio] 'Police are on the hunt for a woman in her 30s,
'with dark hair, sought in connection
'with what is being dubbed the self-help killings.
'The woman is considered armed and dangerous.
'More as we get it. And now the weather.
'Sure, it's a lovely day out there today, isn't it, Jeff?'
'Yes, indeed, Sue. It really is.
'And things will only actually get warmer
'with a warm weather front sliding in from the west
'coming through to the east and moving on down the coast.
'It's set to be quite uncomfortable...
- [Groans] Pull over. - Why?
Just pull over!
[Lou vomits]
- [Val] Where are you...? - Aargh!
[Val] Oh, for fuck's sake.
[Lou sobbing]
[Lou] I didn't know!
Lou...
It's all I'm doing, Lou.
That's what all this is for.
To allow us to be who we truly are.
[Whimpers]
You've been thinking about everyone else your whole life.
Now it's time to think about you.
[Screams]
[Val chokes]
Do it!
Kill me.
[Choking]
[Gasping]
[Coughing]
It did feel pretty empowering, you know?
Yeah...
You did pretty good for your first time.
Did I?
You're the best life coach ever, Val.
I think you might be the best client, Lou.
[Phone ringing]
'Hey, Mum, it's Lou.'
[Echoing screams]
'I'm just checking you got my message the other day?
'I guess maybe you've gone to see your sister.
'You know how you get sometimes?
'Mum?'
[Laughing]
'There's something you should know...
'...about me.
[Raucous laughing]
'And because you'll probably see it on the news soon.
'I'm not who you think I am.
'But, you know, I hope you'll be proud of me.
'I'm not a nobody anymore.'
[Echoing screams]
I can't wait any longer. I've gotta go for a pee.
Back in a minute.
- Do you need any help? - I'm good, thanks.
[Urinating]
Oh, excuse me, I'm just...
OMG!
Is that... is that Louise?
Where've you been?
- We have to go, now! - What's going on?
Nothing. We just... we just have to go.
...she just came over my head...
[Inaudible]
How much further to the next stop?
- Not far. Why? - No reason.
Are you coming or what?
Welcome to Cynthia's sense-of-self course.
I'd like to offer you my deepest gratitude
for choosing to go on this journey with me.
My task is to guide you back in time
to the moment you began your journey
through your mother's birth canal
and out into the world for the very first time.
Together we will return to that moment.
Relive its intense, painful traumas
that have haunted you from that time,
allowing them freedom through your body and your voice.
First we will begin by opening your body and your voice,
so you do not sustain any physical injuries
during the process of unlocking these deep-rooted scars.
Now... find a comfortable position.
Hi! Have you done this before?
It really is the best thing ever.
You have lovely eyes.
[Cynthia] Please...
Now... close your eyes.
Relax.
And bring your attention to your breath.
Soften your gaze.
And let the journey re-begin.
And breathing in.
And out.
And in.
And out.
And counting down from...
...ten, nine, eight,
seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one, and...
'You are back.
'Back in the warm sac of your pre-birth fluid.
'Calm, undisturbed, comfortable.
'Nothing can harm you here.
'Nothing can touch you.
'But wait...
'Suddenly your warm fluid bath is disappearing,
'draining from you.'
Panic begins to set in.
The walls of your home are beginning to move.
'You are being squeezed.
'Forced down a tiny passageway, crushed on either side.
'It makes you scream out.
'And you're screaming now.'
Come on, scream!
[Gasps]
Let it out, Lou. Face who you are.
Let it out.
[Lou chokes]
We are with you.
[Choking]
We are with you.
[Screaming]
I'm waiting for you, Lou.
I've always been waiting for you.
[Muffled sounds fading in and out]
Step 5.
The anything can and will happen.
What's going on?
You had a reaction to the re-birthing.
It's a good sign. You're ready to meet Chuck.
[Helicopter overhead]
- What? - We've got to keep moving.
Wait here.
[Sighs heavily]
He's not here.
[Sighs]
[Car pulling up]
Please, Gary, this is my last chance to...
Please... Look, please just tell them
to give me one more week to come up with it.
Seriously, I can't.
How long have we known each other?
Yep, I know it's just business,
so if it's just business, give me a fucking break!
Well, fuck you, Gary!
And fuck Mary! And fuck your fucking kids!
Fuck!
Lucy? It's daddy.
Could you put your mum on the phone, please?
Em, it's me, Chuck. Look, I have to talk to you...
Yeah, I know what the lawyers said. I just...
I gotta speak with my wife.
No, don't hang up.
Don't... Please don't hang...
[Sobbing]
[Turns CD player on]
[Chuck] 'You are your own force of nature.
'You are your own wind, your own tree, your own waves.
'You can be anything you want to be.
'You are the future of you.
'The end is the beginning of the beginning.
'When you give yourself over to possibility,
'the anything can and will happen.
'With this, you can take on the world.'
Step 6.
Unlock what is hidden within and you may like what you find.
Am I dead?
Aargh... my head!
Are you always like this?
I'm in the middle of a divorce.
The publishers are dropping me
because I can't think of a new book.
I'm pretty much addicted to a lot of drugs!
And I'm going bankrupt because when it comes to it,
it turns out visualizing is worth shit
compared to a fucking well-paid lawyer.
Anyway who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?
Don't you watch the news?
Jesus, you're... Fuck! You're the fucking...
- Where's Val? - You're them! It's you!
You stay there.
- Val? - Yes.
Val... What's going on?
[Val] She's got a gun.
Please help me, I'm scared.
You're too late.
I'll do my best. Thank you, officer.
What's going on?
It's time.
You don't need to kill me. Seriously, you need me.
You're in the middle of a full on media clusterfuck right now.
You're famous.
You know what that publicity's worth with the right contacts?
The news outlets, you're the number one point of interest
in their shitty little lives right now.
Seriously. Look, let me get my agent on the phone.
This is exactly the angle the publishers are looking for.
It's big, it's bold, it'll sell.
I'm talking book deals,
seminars, webinars, the whole lot.
Everyone'll wanna know how to be like you.
Speak with my agent. He'll make us a deal right now.
It's ringing! Hey, Gary, it's me again, Chuck.
Before you hang up,
I've got an offer that's gonna blow your mind.
Turn on the TV. I'm with the girls.
We wanna make a deal. You're gonna make so much money.
Yeah, seriously, it's happening.
I've got a gun to me right now. Yeah, I know, crazy, right?
Well, let's say 70/30 to us? Hold on, let me see...
He says if we go 60/40, he's in.
What do you say, we got a deal?
I'm sorry, Gary, Chuck's going to have to call you back.
Nice! Playing hardball, I like your style...
God, he was even more annoying in real life.
Yeah. What a letdown.
[Police siren wailing]
- [Stabbing] - Sorry!
[Val] Fuck!
[Police siren; helicopter approaching]
Nowhere else to run.
Why'd you do it, Val?
We could've just kept on going!
It was time.
We're an evolution of people.
We're the ones who tell others how to live.
We're the new gods. We can't run forever.
I've had a fantastic time.
Yeah...
Me too.
What're you doing?
It's time to say goodbye.
[Stabbing]
[Groans]
[Val] Shit!
[Stabbing; groaning]
[Helicopter approaching]
You're the best life coach ever, Val.
Yeah... I know.
What a journey.
You can say that again.
[Police siren]
[Helicopter overhead]
[Chuck] 'Visualize the future you want.'
[Indistinct police radio]
Where's Val?
[Chuck] 'Visualize you becoming that person.
'Living through them,
'taking a step in the body of the new you.'
[♪ Choir singing]
'The new, stronger, fitter,
'wealthier, more successful you.'
[♪ Choir voices crescendo]
The only thing I would say is: be true to yourself.
Love yourself.
If I can have a little part in that, in their future lives,
then that's great.
Because for me, I get joy, I get love, I get happiness
out of seeing others succeed.
For me, that's my journey.
I'm Chuck, I'm here to help.
And if you wanna think of me as your god, your guru,
go ahead, that's fine.
But think about it for a second.
Wouldn't it be better,
wouldn't it be more life-changing,
if you thought of me as a friend?
Read the book, listen to the CD,
you'll realize I'm your friend,
I'm your best friend, I'm here to help you.
And that's the only way we can all get what we want.